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Blog  /  October 10, 2017

Married Life Lessons: Meeting Needs

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This Friday marks 8 weeks of marriage. Holy smokes, where did the time go?

This past week, Blake and I learned something very crucial about marriage, our relationship, and each other. After this “aha” moment, Blake looked at me and said, “No one shares about these moments, these lessons learned. Rarely, do we see such transparency on social media- we only see the best versions of ourselves on Facebook and Instagram.” Well, I would have to agree. It’s rare to see other couples share about the difficulties in their marriage, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I don’t think we all need to air out our dirty laundry on Facebook, nor do I expect it. But, I think moments of raw honesty are good, too.

This is why: The ever-popular, yet deceiving ideas of marriage and love. “The Notebook” version of romance. Without transparency, we portray these perfect lives, free of flaws and hardships, which simply is a lie. And what good is that? These false portrayals make us question our own realities, as if their not good enough.

Luckily, God gave us the blessing of community, in order to learn, to grow, and to encourage one other. Let’s not waste this precious gift. We should invest in each other, inspiring each other to do and be better through honesty and openness.

I, a wife of 7 weeks, am far from knowing everything about marriage. In fact, I know very little. But, I do know the power of transparency, the importance of marriage, and the purpose of community. Blake and I love marriage, God-honoring marriage. And we love our community. So, why not help others strengthen their own marriages by sharing our own mistakes and lessons learned?

Let me set the scene for you: It’s Thursday morning. Blake and I both have a little extra time before going to work. My mind immediately begins to make a to-do list, strategically planning how I can get the most done before leaving for the day.

Laundry. Dishes. Cleaning. 

I thought to myself, “This morning, I’ll earn an A+ in wife duty by finishing the laundry and tidying up the apartment. Surely, Blake will be happy he doesn’t have to do it later.” This was my way of serving and honoring Blake, but he had something different in mind.

Quality time.

Blake offered to help me with my to-dos, but when I denied needing any help, he patiently waited for me to finish scurrying around the apartment. He was expecting to spend a few extra minutes with me, before we both needed to head out the door. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Obviously, we all have differences. But in marriage, these differences become real clear, real quick. Point and case, Blake and I are different in the ways we feel loved and cared for, as are most husbands and wives.

It’s likely you’ve heard about the Five Love Languages.  Well, it comes to no surprise that Blake’s love language is quality time and mine is acts of service. The unfortunate part is, it’s our tendency to act according to how we feel loved, not how our spouse feels loved.

I expressed my love for Blake by performing acts of service: laundry, dishes, etc. Blake wanted to show me love by spending quality time together. Truth is: we both knew how to show the other love and how to meet their needs. This shouldn’t have been much of a surprise. But in this moment, we were unintentionally focused on meeting our own needs and desire for love, instead of each others. We expressed love in the way that we wanted to receive it.

This was vital moment in our marriage of almost 2 months, and I am so thankful it happened so quickly. It was a necessary reminder of our innate desire to be selfish and greedy. But more importantly, it was a reminder that we’re called to be selfless and generous with giving, especially as we serve our spouses.

Marriage is full of mistakes, but lucky for us, mistakes don’t define marriage. We define our own marriages by how we learn, grow, and respond to those mistakes, being slow to anger and quick to listen.

I hope these words don’t fall on deaf ears. I encourage you to never stop being a student of your husband or wife, understanding their needs and valuing them before your own.

I love marriage. But, I really love my husband. Being married is such a gift, so it should be treated as such.

Cummins Wedding- Picchetti Winery

Did you catch my post about our wedding?! 8.18.17 has all the important details and our favorite photos from the best day ever.

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4 comments

  • Lauren Manitta
    October 10, 2017

    Yes, yes, yes so much yes! So glad the two of you are so transparent in sharing your lessons learned. And what an important one at that. It is so crucial to discuss and grow from each of the little bumps in the road and apply what you learn to your marriage. If you don’t already have it, I highly recommend the navigators council journal from Beating50Percent !

    Reply
    • Kelsey Nicole
      October 10, 2017

      Thank you so much, Lauren! I completely agree :)
      I actually purchased the Navigator’s Council already, but we have yet to start it! I can’t wait to read through it- I’ve heard really good things about it!

      Reply
  • Joanne
    October 11, 2017

    Great article, Kelsey! Thanks for the reminder! 💕

    Reply
    • Kelsey Nicole
      October 12, 2017

      Thank you, Aunt Jo! :)

      Reply

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Kelsey, FNTP, CPT
I've heard it said time and time again, "I was jus I've heard it said time and time again, "I was just born with a slow metabolism!" But, what if a slow metabolism has MORE to do with diet and lifestyle choices and LESS to do with genetics?! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Here are 5 ways to restore healthy metabolic function, today! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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1. Eat a balanced breakfast within 30-60 minutes of waking up. If you're not hungry, start small and work your way up to a full meal.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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2. Eliminate ALL trans fats, PUFAs, and refined foods. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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3. Stick to short, strength training workouts instead of long, cardio routines.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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4. Eat a balanced snack 1-2 hours before bed.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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5. Don't be afraid of sugar, but stick to unrefined sources, like seasonal fruits, local + raw honey, and coconut sugar. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Tag a friend to share these quick tips to jumpstarting your slow metabolism!!! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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http://www.nourishedbykelseynicole.com/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#holistichealing #holisticnutrition #nutritionaltherapy #nutritionaltherapypractitioner #healthyrecipes #paleorecipes #nourishment #nourishedbykelseynicole #foodblogging #paleoblog #functionalhealth #bioindividuality #holisticnutritionist #foodisfuel #foodismedicine #hormonehealth #guthealth #slowmetabolism #healthymetabolism #metabolicfunction
WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE ABOUT FOOD?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I'm Kelsey Nicole 👋🏼 and as a Functional Nutritional Therapy Practitioner, I believe...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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• We should eat like our ancestors did⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Seasonal eating is the most nutritious and delicious way to eat⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Fat and carbs are necessary AND good⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Every person is bio-individual (so, their diets should be too)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Quality > quantity⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Our society is chronically diseased (and most of us don't know any different)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Common symptoms are NOT normal (ie. PMS, fatigue, acid reflux, bloating, rashes, acne, weight gain, infertility, insomnia, etc)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Eating less and moving more isn't always the answer⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When it comes to diet and lifestyle, what do you believe? Have you ever thought about it before? I encourage you to because what we believe actually dictates how we live.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So, do you:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Feel fearful of food?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Follow fad diets and trends?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Gain weight as quickly as you lost it?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Feel guilt and shame when eating “bad foods?”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Experience food cravings daily?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Experience bloating, gas, and acid reflux daily?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If so, I dare to say your diet and lifestyle are NOT serving you well! If you’re ready to honor your body and experience long term health, let me know 😉 I’d love to open your eyes to a whole new world! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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http://www.nourishedbykelseynicole.com/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#holistichealing #holisticnutrition #nutritionaltherapy #nutritionaltherapypractitioner #healthyrecipes #paleorecipes #nourishment #nourishedbykelseynicole #foodblogging #paleoblog #functionalhealth #bioindividuality #holisticnutritionist #foodisfuel #foodismedicine #hormonehealth #guthealth
The holidays might be over, but the Winter season The holidays might be over, but the Winter season is still holding strong. Lucky for us, that means we can load up on this delicious Winter Salad!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I'm a HUGE fan of eating seasonally to reap the benefits of the ripest, most nutritious foods. And this salad is a seasonal superstar, with the seasons best, like pomegranate and squash 😋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Get this delicious Winter recipe on the blog! 👉🏼 @nourishedbykelseynicole⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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http://www.nourishedbykelseynicole.com/paleo-ish-packed-winter-salad/ #holisticnutrition #nutritionaltherapypractitioner #nourishment #nourishedbykelseynicole #foodblogging #paleoblog #foodisfuel #foodismedicine #healthyrecipesideas #paleorecipeideas #nutrientdenserecipes #winterrecipes #seasonaleating #seasonalrecipes #wintersalad
I used to think my irregular periods were cool. My I used to think my irregular periods were cool. My periods were so light and far & few between, I thought I was the lucky one.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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BOY, WAS I WRONG 😫⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This is why:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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A woman’s menstrual cycle is a HUGE indicator of health (or lack of it). It’s not called “the fifth vital sign” for nothing! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So, if your period is irregular OR comes with any type of PMS symptoms (cramps, headaches, acne, etc), it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate. And, to take it a step further... ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Can you sleep through the night without waking up? Are you able to manage your weight without excessive exercise or calorie restriction?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If not, it’s time to assess the status of your health- specifically, yourdigestion, hormones, metabolism, etc. Why?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Because with a handful of lifestyle & diet changes, you can heal these symptoms for good and experience better sleep, skin, sex, energy, and more!!!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Sign me up for that! What about you?! 🙃 👉🏼 @nourishedbykelseynicole⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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http://www.nourishedbykelseynicole.com/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#holistichealing #holisticnutrition #nutritionaltherapy #nutritionaltherapypractitioner #healthyrecipes #paleorecipes #nourishment #nourishedbykelseynicole #foodblogging #paleoblog #functionalhealth #bioindividuality #holisticnutritionist #foodisfuel #foodismedicine #hormonehealth #guthealth #femalehealth #healthmarkers #fifthvitalsign
Should you take supplements?! 💊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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*Not without professional supervision or recommendation!*⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Here’s the deal with supplements: they are SUPPLEMENTAL. Meaning, you can’t out-supplement an inflammatory diet or lifestyle. Plain and simple. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Before turning to supplements, consider:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• working with a functional practitioner ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• removing inflammatory foods from your diet⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• prioritizing hydration and sleep⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• testing for nutrient deficiencies and underlying health issues⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Then, and only then, should you opt for supplements (in addition to diet and lifestyle changes) to aid in your healing journey!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Got it? Good 🙃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What supplement Q’s do you have?!? 👇🏼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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http://www.nourishedbykelseynicole.com/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#holistichealing #holisticnutrition #nutritionaltherapy #nutritionaltherapypractitioner #nourishment #nourishedbykelseynicole #functionalhealth #bioindividuality #holisticnutritionist #foodisfuel #hormonehealth #guthealth #nutrientdeficiencies #poordigestion #foodsensitivities #foodismedicine #functionalnutrition #functionalsupplements #supplementation
Starting the New Year with a fresh batch of homema Starting the New Year with a fresh batch of homemade chili and cornbread! There’s literally nothing better on a cold Winter day.. Am I right?! 😍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Do you have any New Years traditions?! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Get this recipe on the blog 👉🏼 @nourishedbykelseynicole⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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http://www.nourishedbykelseynicole.com/easy-beanless-chili/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#holistichealing #holisticnutrition #nutritionaltherapy #nutritionaltherapypractitioner #healthyrecipes #paleorecipes #nourishment #nourishedbykelseynicole #foodblogging #paleoblog #functionalhealth #bioindividuality #holisticnutritionist #foodisfuel #foodismedicine #hormonehealth #guthealth #newyearstraditions #homemadechili #healthychili
WHY YOU DON'T NEED TO DRINK MORE WATER 🙅🏻‍ WHY YOU DON'T NEED TO DRINK MORE WATER 🙅🏻‍♀️⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Before I go any further, hear this: yes, water is essential and most of us can benefit from drinking more. But, NOT if you aren’t absorbing the water you drink!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You might not be absorbing water, if you:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Go to the bathroom multiple times a day⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Constantly feel thirsty⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• Carry water weight and bloating⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So, instead of drinking more water this year, focusing on actually keeping your body hydrated! And all you need is one ingredient to do so...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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SALT! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But, not just any salt: sea salt or pink Himalayan salt. Personally, I like Redmond's salt!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Here's what to do: add a sprinkle of sea salt to your water and food throughout the day for optimal hydration and electrolyte balance!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Drop your Q’s about water & hydration below! 👇🏼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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http://www.nourishedbykelseynicole.com/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#holistichealing #holisticnutrition #nutritionaltherapy #nutritionaltherapypractitioner #healthyrecipes #paleorecipes #nourishment #nourishedbykelseynicole #foodblogging #paleoblog #functionalhealth #bioindividuality #holisticnutritionist #foodisfuel #foodismedicine #hormonehealth #guthealth #hydration #drinkwater #saltbenefits #benefitsofsalt
What should you eat in the New Year? 🤷🏻‍♀️⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Without a doubt, knowing WHAT to eat is the #1 area of confusion when it comes to reaching your health goals.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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👉🏼 Should you eat carbs? What about fat?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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👉🏼 Are organic fruits & veggies necessary?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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👉🏼 Is sugar bad?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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As a Functional Nutritional Therapy Practitioner, I believe the answer is truly an individual one. No two people are the same, so why should their diet be?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When working with clients, I give clear and specific recommendations on foods to eat and those to avoid. I take the guess work out of eating healthy, so that you’re body can ultimately heal and achieve your goals! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So, if you’re confused about what to eat in the New Year, it might be time to work with someone who can give you the answers you’re looking for! 😉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Send me a message to learn how we can work together in 2021 👉🏼 @nourishedbykelseynicole⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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http://www.nourishedbykelseynicole.com/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#holistichealing #holisticnutrition #nutritionaltherapy #nutritionaltherapypractitioner #healthyrecipes #paleorecipes #nourishment #nourishedbykelseynicole #foodblogging #paleoblog #functionalhealth #bioindividuality #holisticnutritionist #foodisfuel #foodismedicine #hormonehealth #guthealth #whattoeat #foodstoeat #foodstoavoid
Christmas may have quickly come and gone, but thes Christmas may have quickly come and gone, but these Paleo Chocolate Chip Cookie Bites are here to stay 🙌🏻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you’ve sworn off sweets in the new year, can I ask you WHY?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What if I told you it’s possible to eat your favorite foods (yes, even dessert) while still reaching your goals and healing your body?!?!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Sugar is necessary. Carbs are necessary. Fat is necessary. If anyone tells you otherwise, WALK THE OTHER WAY.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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In the new year, stop committing to restrictive diets that deliver short term results. Instead, commit to healing your body, learning along the way, and enjoying REAL, delicious foods!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Send me a DM with any Q’s! 👉🏼 @nourishedbykelseynicole⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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http://www.nourishedbykelseynicole.com/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#holisticnutrition #nutritionaltherapypractitioner #nourishment #nourishedbykelseynicole #foodblogging #paleoblog #foodisfuel #foodismedicine #healthyrecipesideas #paleorecipeideas #nutrientdenserecipes #paleocookies #paleocookiedough #cookiedoughbites #newyearsdiet
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